Apple-ka-dabra!

My father feels the same way about computers that I did about magicians when I was six. There's this sense of awe and wonder alongside utter frustration at not understanding how it works.He'll say things like... you won't BELIEVE what it did next! It's like he's telling a story.

Freedom 2 Opt Out of a Tattoo Marriage

A tattoo is a sort of marriage between the artist who creates it and the person who gets it.  They both know that they'll be bonded together by that tattoo forever.

The trouble with this new ink (and I imagine others may follow) called Inifitink by Freedom 2 is that it reshapes that covenant.  It's basically a pre-nup for the tattoo marriage.  "I really hope this all works out, but in case it doesn't..."

Purists and egomaniacal artists alike will resent the request from patrons for a removable ink.  As an artist, there is no doubt something cool about knowing your work will be on that person forever.  It's high pressure and exciting.  An erasable ink may, subtly, made the artist try less hard.

But protest will be futile.  Infinitink is a game changer for the tattoo world.  Inks like this (or those even more easily removed) will be used in the overwhelming majority of tattoos within 10 years.

US Bank is an A*hole

I received a "Simon Giftcard" a couple of years ago. Recently, cleaning out a box I found it. It had an original value of $100 dollars. The purchaser paid an additional $2 at the time just for the privilege of purchasing the card. Clearly printed on the card is the "U.S. Bank Fee Schedule". It states that beginning in the 13th month, there will be a $2.50 per month fee deducted from the value of the card. Moreover, the card expires about 2 years after issue. A card can be reinstated for a $15 fee. And if the card is lost there is a $5 fee

What a bunch of crap. In general I think California may be a bit heavy-handed with government regulation, but in this case I wish the other states would follow their lead on escheatment law. Ideally, consumers would reject such practices and simply not purchase gift cards from Simon Malls, Best Buy, Central Market, and others and there'd be not need for such regulation.

That being said, I don't wholly understand the gift card in the first place. Let's take something that has everlasting value and can be used all over the world and give it an expiration date and limit it's use to just one store. Let's not. I know the restrictions somehow make it seem more personalized, like thought was put into it, but I don't buy that either. Especially in the case of a Visa Debit card like the Simon. Being accepted anywhere Visa is accepted usage hasn't been materially restricted when compared to cash, all that's been done is to introduce the possibility of having your money stolen, $2.50 at a time, completely legally. Awesome... here's a gift, it comes with anxiety.

Needless to say (even though the math doesn't work out) the value of my card showed up as zero when I typed it into the Simon website. There's goes $102. So write your Senator or something. Or better yet, the next time you go to purchase a gift card ask if there are any fees that will ever be applied in any capacity. If you hear anything but "hell no", tell them their corporate policy makers are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling and you'll be taking your cash elsewhere... perhaps straight to the recipient.

See you at CiCi's on Wednesday

The trouble with dating a single mother is the shared custody. Sharing custody of the mother with the child.

The weather in Texas? Hot... pretty much just hot.

I'm not a regular news watcher, but caught a glimpse of the weather forecast on channel 5 here in Dallas. It struck me with it's consistency.

Font of Problems

At dinner tonight my younger sister mentioned the marriage book she is currently reading in preparation for her wedding. One of the chapters is about how marriage won't solve all of your problems.

What? Who thinks this? I always thought marriage was a source of problems.

I thought getting married was like wildcatting for problems.  And you're guaranteed to hit paydirt.

Like fishing with dynamite. What a beautiful little lake this is, I want to marry it BOOM! Oh my, look at all the little problems floating to the surface. Somehow it's just not as idyllic anymore. Thanks, marriage.

Shampoo Bar Graph

My breasted companion was sweet enough to get me some shampoo. I was about out. She picked up two bottles at Bath and Body Works. Buying two made the price half as asinine. Still asinine, but half as much so.

One of the bottles is called Eucalyptus Spearmint: Relaxing Blend. The other, Orange Ginger: Energizing Blend. For whatever reason I started to buy in to the fact that I should use the former when I needed to chill, the latter when I was in need of a boost.

Now, weeks later, I've ended up with what is essentially a visual shampoo bar graph in my shower window sill. The shampoo levels measure the relative frequency with which I am tired vs the frequency with which I am in overdrive. My tired to zippy ratio is like 3 to 1. I think the Relaxing Blend would be virtually unused were it not for night showers when I feel like I should be winding down to sleep.

So it's pretty much like I thought. I'm tired all the time. I've got data to back it up now.